Thursday, February 18, 2016
Our first Valentine's Day
This week was Valentine's Day. I was not a good Valentine. I was sick, in bed. I ignored my poor husband and he took another girl out for a date on Valentine's. It was B, they went to the drive thru to pick up some hamburgers and fries as I was too out of it to cook, much less get gussied up and go out for the night. It was better than last year. I was in Missouri and James was in California. We are making progress. Just another crazy Valentine's Day for the books.
James and I both laugh at our first Valentine's Day 26 years ago. It was before his mission and we were in L.O.V.E. We had planned a super fun day of skiing at Sundance. We were both looking forward to our all day date when we said good night. February 14th arrived with quite a bit of snow. I can't remember how much, but it was a pretty good amount. I was 18 at the time and still living at home, as was James. We had quite the predicament. My mom, the infamous worrier of our family, the over protective parent, told me she really did not want me to go up into the scary canyon which was surely slick, icy and deathly dangerous. My boyfriend, who had been given a ton of independence growing up thought she was crazy. He couldn't believe we would have to miss out on a perfect day for skiing, loaded with fresh powder. I have to tell you, my mom never said " I do not want you to go." She knew I was a guilt ridden, obedient enough kid, even at 18, that I would not want to disappoint or upset her. She didn't have to put her foot down, she just had to mention her concerns and I usually fell into line.
Thus, the stars were aligned for the very first disagreement in our young love. Should I stay home where it was safe to keep my Mom happy or run free with the love of my life and have an adventure?? I just couldn't cross my Mom. It was gut renching for me, but I was still a young girl and I just couldn't cause any strife for my Mom who I loved so very much.
So, it was settled. We postpned our Valentine's Day date. James decided to head on over to my house where we would be safe and warm and no harm could possibly come to us. He told me he was on his way. So, I got all prettied up and waited... and waited... and waited. I should remind you, this was years ago, before cell phones were even a thought in our minds. Communication was limited to whenever you were in a building with a "land line" Remember those??
So, I called his house, no answer. I called the family buisness, no answer. Hmmmm. Where could he be?? I waited some more, and waited. I was finally frustrated. No boy was going to treat me like this! I wasn't going to be stood up!! So, I proceeded to take my anger out on the snow. I shoveld our entire drive way, still, no James. I waited some more and then drove around the block to shovel my grandma's driveway. I was about half way done when Romeo decided to finally show up. Boy was I mad. He explained he had to shovel his family's drive way, then run to the store for his mom who would never ever drive in the snow. Then he stopped by the family buisness to check on his dad and had to help shovel the entire parking lot. He tried to call but I didn't answer ( probably because I was blowing off some steam shoveling away my anger ).
This was our first argument. Looking back it seems almost silly. With the technology we have today we could have checked the weather, the travel conditions, he could have texted or called me to let me know he would be late. It is amazing how communication has improved so greatly in the past 26 years. Not only via cell phones and social media, but as we have grown together in marriage.
Ironically, we were both trying to accomplish the same thing. He was disappointed I was trying to keep my Mom happy and cancelled our date. I was upset because he was trying to keep his parents happy by running errands and shoveling the driveways. Good thing it was young love, we got over it pretty quickly. I honestly don't remember much more of the day. Now we just laugh at the immature reactions we both had, as well as our good intentions.
We actually went skiing a few days later and had a wonderful time. The first and last time we skiied together sadly. Hopefully we can fix that soon now that we are closer to Utah and will have better opportunites come our way.
I will admit, sadly, that was just the first of many disagreements, arguments, flat out fights if I am to be honest, along the way. The hurt feelings and anger have always melted away as quickly as the snow on that Valentine's Day in 1990. I am so grateful for our wonderful years together, for our strong marriage that has taken more than it's fair share of hits. I am thankful for the gospel and the way it has centered us on the really important things in life.